Drama follows me everywhere I go...

Apparently, life outside El Salvador is not drama free either. Or...maybe it's just me?

Mom and I arrived at the airport in Des Moines for my return flight. We had a bit of time before my flight, so we wandered over to the food court area to get a treat before I left. For those of you who don't know, the Des Moines airport is currently under construction. As a result, there are sections barricaded off and things in unusual places (ie - chairs clumped together in unnatural locations). As we started past one of these unusual clumps of chairs, mom came to an abrupt stop. She leaned over to me and whispered, "I bet she doesn't have any trouble at all finding her suitcase on the baggage claim!"

I looked over and, from the back, saw a women sitting in a chair beside a man talking on a cell phone. Not only did I immediately notice her faultless posture and her tidy, grey hair in the most perfect bun I had ever seen, but I also noticed the flaming red suitcase sitting beside her. Not only was it the brightest red I had ever seen, but it was covered in glitter. Mom and I both stood and stared for quite awhile. Slowly, we made our way around towards the front of the couple. The man must have been having a very one-sided phone call, because he hadn't said a word the entire time we stood there. As we moved still farther around, I noticed the woman had a Bud Light bottle sitting next to her. For starters...her prim and proper attitude made it very hard to believe she would be drinking a beer...from a bottle, no less. Secondly, it was 7am! What an odd couple this was turning out to be! By now, we have move in front of the couple and were able to take in the entire visual. I noticed that these two particular chairs happened to be off to the side of all the others. As I said, there was a lot of construction, so at a glance this didn't seem unusual. However, it was unusual that there were security band things around their two chairs. These security rope things were everywhere in the airport, but why would these two people want to be penned in? All of a sudden, I grabbed mom's arm and practically shouted, "THEY AREN'T REAL!!!"

"What?!" she said.

"They aren't real! They are statues!"

"Oh, and here I was whispering!" mom said. "I'm glad you didn't know they were fake. I would have felt really stupid if I was the only one who didn't realize it!"

Good grief. What do you think? Can you tell they aren't real?



After the whole fake people ordeal (and saying good-bye to mom), I was a bit rattled as I went through security. And what a pain security is. I had to take off my scarf, my sweater, take my laptop out of its bag, take off my shoes and my hat, take my boarding pass out of my pocket and make sure it was secure. Once I had made it successfully through the metal detectors, I felt like I had about a bazillion of those little tub things to collect. I grabbed all my stuff and struggled to haul it all off to the gate. I was about 30 steps away from security when I heard, "Jessica Adams, please come back to the security check point." I patted myself down...sweater, check; hat, check; scarf, check; boarding pass, check; purse, check...what could I have possible forgotten? I trooped back to the security check point to find a guard standing beside a suitcase that looked strangely familiar. The woman looked at me as I approached and said, "Is this your bag, ma'am?" I look down at what I was carrying...sure enough. I had left my carry on at security.

"Yes, that is mine." I said.

"You know, it is a breach of security to leave bags unattended." she said rather strictly.

"Yes, I didn't mean to leave it unattended. Actually, I forgot I had a second bag." I reached out to grab the suitcase from her but she stopped me.

"Sorry ma'am. Because this bag was unattended, we are going to have to search it."

Excellent.

Quite some time later, after all my belongings were unceremoniously stuffed back into my bulging suitcase, I managed to find my gate. The area was very full and I managed to snag the last open seat. A moment after I sat down, a airline attendant came over to me.

"We have a very full flight today. Would you mind if I did a plane-side check of that bag?" she asked me.

"No, I don't mind. Go ahead." I said, thinking to myself...I sure I hope I remember to pick it back up when we land.

She put a claim ticket on it and said as she started to walk away, "You are going to Chicago, right?"

"Yup." I said.

She was walking towards the desk when it suddenly hit me...I'm not going to Chicago...I'm going to Denver!

"Wait, WAIT!" I chased after the lady and was able to retrieve my bag only a moment before she passed through the door.

I returned to my chair, out of breath and very flustered. The man sitting next to me didn't even look up from the game he was playing on his BlackBerry and said, "Boy, that could have been embarrassing."

Yeah...it sure could have been.

The ride to Denver was fairly uneventful. But, it did give me plenty of time to think about my final arrival in LA (I was spending a few days there, seeing family, before I headed south). I knew Uncle Bill was going to pick me up at the airport...but where? At baggage claim? Out on the curb? Without a cell phone, I was feeling very naked and vulnerable. When I arrived at my gate in Dallas, there was only one other woman sitting there. I leaned over and said, "Excuse me. I'm currently living internationally and my cell phone doesn't work here in the US. Is there any chance I could borrow your phone for a moment? I need to make final arrangements with my family about my pick-up in LA."

She was happy to accommodate my request. However, she reached into her bra to retrieve her phone. Um...gross.

I called my aunt and tried to make the conversation as quick as possible. Yes, Uncle Bill would meet me at the baggage claim. Excellent. I had the world's largest (and oldest) suitcase that needed to be retrieved. He could help me!

Again, my flight was very uneventful. We arrived in LA and I stood to gather my bags and venture off the plane. All of a sudden, I heard someone yell, "Jess, hey Jess! He won't be there!"

I looked around. Surely, someone wasn't trying to get my attention. I didn't know anyone on this plane. But, I looked back...and sure enough...the cell-phone-in-the-bra lady was trying to get my attention. "He won't be there! Call this number!" Because the woman was probably 20 rows behind me, she was yelling this information up the aisle to me as she passed her phone forward. All the people between her and me where now officially involved in this drama. Not only was I totally embarrassed, I was panicked. What did she mean, he wasn't going to be there?! What was I going to do?! How was I going to get to Grandma's house?!

I grabbed the phone from the person closest to me and called Aunty Becky.

"Hey girl. Did you get my text messages?" she asked.

"Ummm...no I didn't get your messages. This isn't my phone!"

She laughed, "No way! Whose phone is it?"

"Some random person on my flight! I don't have a cell phone and asked to borrow hers." By now, the 50 or so people within hearing distance were laughing out loud. What entertainment I was providing! "What do you mean, Bill won't be there?"

"Oh, parking is really crazy there. So, he is just going to pull up to the curb. You'll just have to meet him there." She was still laughing. "And...he's working, so he'll be picking you up in a police car."

Excellent. More comic fodder for the people around me. The poor girl without a phone was going to be hauled off by the police. I finished the phone call and handed it back down the aisle.

I practically ran to the baggage claim so I could get there before all the other people on my flight. I wanted as small an audience as possible for the upcoming sturggle-with-the-world's-heaviest-suitcase-that-also-conviently-doesn't-have-wheels and the oh so embarrassing exit in a police car. What they must think of me!

The entire situation was much easier to survive for two reasons:

First, Uncle Bill arrived in an unmarked police car.

Second, apparently phone-in-the-bra lady sent a text message back to Becky. I don't know what the content of the actual message was, but her outgoing message had one of those automatic signature things on it. Her name...was ChaCha.